Welcome to another episode in my occasional series: Things I’ve Observed in Other Countries.

This time I’m in South Korea and seeing as I’ve been here for, like, days now, I feel qualified to wax lyrical about the things I’ve seen. Let’s call it cultural exchange.

One of the first things that I noticed was that Koreans are quite concerned about suitcases tumbling down escalators and wiping out innocent people. When I caught the train from the airport, there were signs prominently displayed informing me (and everyone else, presumably) that significant penalties applied for out-of-control luggage on escalators. And then once I was on the train, a video illustrated the dire consequences of leaving your suitcases unattended on escalators — certain death, apparently. And I did have to ask myself, HOW OFTEN has someone been cleaned up by a Samsonite hard shell while they’ve been innocently standing on a moving staircase? So often that they needed a public education campaign, apparently.

And while we’re on public transport, you know what else doesn’t happen? They don’t talk. It is almost eerily silent. In fact, if you hear someone talking loudly on the subway you can guarantee it’s a loudmouthed tourist with zero decorum. Our guide in Seoul was at great pains to explain to us that it was not acceptable to gab away while taking public transport. And it was then that I realised my overwhelming urge to speak on public transport was an issue. It turns out I quite like to have a conversation. I know. Big surprise.

Here’s the thing, though. The Koreans are way too polite to say anything. They would never confront you about being a giant blabbermouth on the subway but they just wouldn’t be happy about it. And I, for one, am very averse to making any Korean person silently unhappy with me. So I zipped it.

Koreans are also very respectful to their elders. The eldest person is usually served first at the dinner table. People on buses will stand so someone older can have their seat. People literally stand aside so distinguished grandmas can pass by. The downside of this is that it’s expected that the youngest person is the one to serve the food out. It’s their responsibility to pour drinks for everyone or pass out the cutlery. And as I was the youngest child in my family for my entire childhood, I know that this absolutely would have annoyed the bejesus out of me. Not now, though. I would be very happy to sit back and let my nephews serve me. I just can’t see it happening.

And you know what else I’ve noticed? They love cute little things. There are cartoon animals everywhere you turn, even if they’re explaining rules and regulations. On the subway (can you tell I’ve spent a lot of time on public transport?) a little character with a rail car for a head explained to a family of cartoon sharks how to best use the escalators (with or without luggage) and how not to sit in the seats reserved for elderly, disabled and pregnant passengers. Why a family of cartoon sharks would be taking the subway wasn’t explicitly explained.

They love their food, too. And I mean, they REALLY love it. Our guide Yong took us to a Korean BBQ restaurant and you have never seen a man savour his food more than this guy eating a piece of barbecued pork, combined with some other delicious morsels. All week, he’s been extolling the virtues of acorn gel, or burdock, or any number of other Korean delicacies. When you watch customers seated at a market stall tucking into fried stuffed squid or a massive bowl of dumpling soup, you see them do it with a delightful gusto. The manner in which these locals really relish the food in front of them is something to admire.

Of course, I’m sure there’s something terrible about Korea, I just haven’t found it yet. Other than the time that I saw on a cafe menu, under the heading Dessert, that the only listed item was a ham and cheese toasted sandwich. This is obviously a terrible crime.

Otherwise, they’ve shown enormous patience with an incompetent foreigner who can’t figure out how to pay for something or who has failed to comprehend that you need to order on the touchscreen by the door, or who doesn’t know that you can pay for a transport card electronically, but you have to use cash to top it up.

At least I held onto my suitcase on the escalator though. I didn’t want to go to jail on my first day.