Breketta Robertson: Mother reveals why she left baby Rijul for dead as she visits his grave for 30th birthday

WARNING: GRAPHIC DETAILS The mother of Kambalda’s beloved baby Rijul, who was found dead in a public toilet 30 years ago, will return to the town for the first time to honour what would have been her son’s 30th birthday. Finally in a place in her healing journey where she feels comfortable returning to the town where the tragedy unfolded, Breketta Robertson — a victim of child rape — will next month visit the grave of the baby she tragically killed at just 14 years old. Hoping to give him a headstone with her last name and a poem, Ms Robertson has launched a GoFundMe fundraiser. It is the first time she has spoken publicly about what happened on July 12, 1995, and while her mind blocked most of the memories Ms Robertson — now aged 44 — said the day still haunts her. She had been visiting her father who lived in the Kambalda caravan park for the school holidays when she gave birth to Rijul in a public toilet. The young girl had been raped by her de facto stepfather, Joseph Neil Grace, for years and knew the pregnancy was a result of that. Panicking, she suffocated him, wrapped him in toilet paper and abandoned him in the toilet bowl. She did not hold him or acknowledge him as part of herself, acting instead out of fear of getting in trouble if the rape and grooming she had been subjected to came to light. She then returned to the caravan park and complained of a stomach ache before taking two Panadol and continuing on with her day. Who killed the newborn and why remained a mystery until WA Police arrested Ms Robertson in September 2019. Ms Robertson told the Kalgoorlie Miner it was still hard to imagine herself as the person who would hurt a child and wished she could go back and do things differently. She understood there would be people who would still see her as someone who killed her son, but knew she was not a bad person and she was a victim herself. “Put yourself in the shoes of a 13-year-old, just turned 14, living in a family of people and no one noticed anything,” she said. “I don’t remember even looking at him, there was no physical bond at all. “I didn’t pick him up and hold him before I did any of that stuff, he was not part of me, he wasn’t something I wanted to accept as mine at the time. “I just remember fearing I would get in trouble if everything came out. “There are so many what ifs and what could have beens but I just think if only someone had asked, if only someone had noticed, if only the timing had been different. “It’s not something I’m proud of. If I could turn back time . . . I would hope to have a voice that would speak up and get help. “But my heart goes out to the community and I’m so thankful for what they did for him.” Ms Robertson said she did not remember much of the birth and while part of that hurt her, she was also thankful not to have those traumatic memories. “I was just trying to keep it (the abuse) a secret,” she said. “As a child you always think everything is your fault, you’re the reason or it to be happening or there’s something you’ve done that made it happen. “So there was a lot of that and thinking I’d get in trouble — not him, me.” Ultimately, it was “him” who got in trouble — being sentenced to 8½ years in jail in 2020 — and Ms Robertson instead being handed a suspended prison term, meaning she would spend no time in jail. Her rapist was the only person she told about the death, a few months after it happened, and she said he offered her no support and continued to rape her until she was 16, when she fell pregnant with her first daughter to a 30-year-old man. As a mother of five adult children now, she said it was hard to comprehend how no one noticed anything at the time. “No one knew, I never told anyone else, I just lived with it the whole time by myself,” she said. “I remember being pregnant, but back then there was no internet, no Google, no access to information like we have these days, but I knew something was going on. “I just didn’t know exactly when I fell pregnant or when I was due. “I just felt invisible. No one noticed anything at all. “We left two days after so the investigation wasn’t in my face and things just went on as normal. “I realise how lucky I am now that nothing else went wrong because three of my kids were C-sections and one was breach. “If Rijul had been breached, as a child myself I don’t know what could have happened.” With all six of her children she carried “compact” and said she did not have a big pregnant belly, which she thinks helped her keep her first pregnancy under wraps. The trauma of all the sexual assault, the death, and subsequently being in an abusive relationship for many years definitely took its toll on Ms Robertson who says she battled with alcohol, drugs and depression for a lot of her life. It was nine years ago she gave up alcohol, 2½ years ago she gave up drugs, and only recently that she was able to hold down her first job – marking the start of a new chapter for her. Being in a much better place with herself, and with this year marking what would have been Rijul’s 30th birthday, Ms Robertson is hoping to visit his grave and get a headstone made for him with her last name — the last name she wishes she had been able to give him from birth. To help with the costs, she has started a GoFundMe to raise money for her to travel to WA and for the cost of the headstone. Affectionately named Rijul – which means innocence – by the community, his grave is already marked with a headstone and plaque which bares his first name. While she was yet to speak to anyone in the community about her plans, Ms Robertson said she hoped to have the site to herself on Rijul’s birthday, but welcome any official community unveiling after that point. “He would have been 30 this year and I just think what would have he become, what would have he done?” she said. “I haven’t really spoken about it all publicly but the community have a right to know what happened.” Rijul’s death was a case that stuck with the Kambalda community for 24 years, with detectives launching various investigations but ultimately not producing any solid leads. That was until September 2019 when Ms Robertson was charged with his death. She recalled the day the police arrived at her door and said she felt an enormous amount of relief that the secret was finally out. She had been arrested for stealing from a Salvation Army bin after losing her belongings in a house fire in Victoria and it resulted in her DNA matching the Kambalda cold case. “Someone finally asked, someone finally knew,” she said. “There was no ‘I didn’t do it’, it was finally out, and it was such a relief after carrying it on my own for so long. “By that time, I had finally got to the point where I knew it wasn’t my fault. “It was a situation I was put in by an adult and that wasn’t the type of person I was, I was the person who raised five amazing, wonderful adults. “By then I had learned I wasn’t a horrible person, and it wasn’t done out of anything other than survival.” Ms Robertson said she would also like to speak to the woman who found Rijul, if they were willing to speak with her. To support Ms Robertson’s GoFundMe for Rijul’s headstone visit this link. If you or someone you know needs help, phone Sexual Assault Counselling Australia on 1800 211 028 or the Sexual Assault Resource Centre on 1800 199 888 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)