‘Different type of grief’: Jelena Dokic opens up about her father’s death, vulnerability and her future

It’s been nearly a month since Jelena Dokic announced her abusive father’s passing, and she is still trying to work out how she feels. In May, Jelena confirmed the death of her 67-year-old father, Damir, on social media, who subjected her to years of torment, abuse and physical violence on and off the courts.Sitting in the booth of a cafe in Melbourne, the former No. 4 tennis player-turned-commentator and public speaker told NewsWire she knew her father’s death “would happen at some stage” but is still “working through” her grieving process, which is more complicated than she anticipated.

“I’ve been estranged from my father for nearly 10 years, and it is what it is,” she said. “The one thing I’m realising … whether you’ve had a good experience with a parent or a bad one, it comes with a complicated kind of grief, closure, or the way that chapter ends.”She found out about her estranged father’s death while she was “right in the middle of work and a lot of commitments”, leaving her without much room to process the loss. “For me, it’s different type of grief,” she told NewsWire. “Maybe not even grief, but more so like closure or a chapter that’s kind of finished, but from an estranged parent.”

But it’s in the quiet times with her small circle of friends, who she refers to as her “ride or dies”, where she can peel away the layers and let the grief settle. Growing up concealing the abuse and suffering she lived with every day led to feelings of shame and fear, building up emotional walls to shield her painful experience from others as she tried to fight the battle alone. A self-admitted introvert, it hasn’t been easy for her to develop trustworthy and loyal relationships over her career, as a combination of constantly travelling the world in tennis tournaments and the abuse she was subjected to by her father put a pin in any chance of forging meaningful connections with others her own age. “Some victims of and survivors of domestic violence and abuse … are not allowed to make friends,” she told NewsWire. “Anyone that gets close, (the abuser will) get rid of them, especially when we’re young.” “Making friends for a very long time was not even possible, but then later it was difficult because I didn’t kind of have those social skills,” she said.

While she can’t turn back the clock, Jelena hopes to inspire others who may be suffering alone, and encourage them to speak out.

She is currently in the process of writing a third book – which will hit bookshelves late next year – this time revealing the mindset and self-development she has gained.

Jelena has been very outspoken about the abuse she has received over the years, be it from her father through the first two decades of her life, where she was subjected to unnerving physical violence and loathsome verbal attacks, to hateful messages from bullies on social media.

She told NewsWire she isn’t afraid to “block and delete” the online trolls that try to weasel in and pollute her positive mission.“I see one vile sentence, I delete straight away,” she said. “I don’t even read the rest of it, and that’s the best way to go about it.”

Hit with crashing waves of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and PTSD throughout her life, Jelena has always found a way to stand back up, brush herself off and face every battle head-on, determined to keep moving forward. “It was my goal in life, especially post-tennis, to do everything with kindness, to do it with grace and dignity,” she said. She wants others who may have experienced or currently living through similar circumstances to know they are “not alone”, and they’re braver than they realise. “I always believed I can get to that stage where one day I can smile, where one day I get through (the abuse) and I … always try to believe that I am worthy and that it’s not my fault,” she said.

Her strength and passion for raising awareness about mental health, bullying and childhood and domestic violence continues to drive her forward and inspire others to speak out.

“I can’t change the world alone, none of us can, but we can change someone’s world,” she said. “If we can change things for that one person and be there for them, be kind and loving and accepting, you can literally not only change someone’s life, but save their life.”

Jelena is one of two panellists taking part in the QV Care Awards, which celebrated and brings a spotlight to everyday Aussies who make an impact on the world around them.The QV 50 Awards is honouring three people who have made an effort to care for an individual, the community and other causes, and giving them a chance to win $10,000 and an all-expenses paid trip to the ceremony in Melbourne, which takes place in August 2025. It’s a cause close to Jelena’s heart. “For me, it's a massive honour to be a judge, and to be part of a campaign that is so amazing, iconic and Australian,” she said. “What these QV Care Awards are about is really celebrating … an individual, a community, or a charity that takes care of others.”

You can nominate someone you believe is an everyday hero worthy of celebrating for the QV Care Awards here.